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About Vantaa

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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I mean, seriously, walking through the old market street (Kauppatori) you’re smacked in the face with history—a lineup of tiny shops sellin’ everything from home-cooked bakery treats to vintage records. Oh man, one time I almost got into a heated debate with a vendor over the best coffee spot in town. I got so mad, like, “Dude, calm down, life’s too short!” But then my brain went all Yoda: "Do or do not."

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